I Keep Leaving My Friends

Heading off to college in Tallahassee. From Tallahassee to Albany. From Albany to the boat, and on we go.

I love to go new places, meet new people, and see new things, so I am always excited to make a change, but whenever I make that change, I leave friends. Through the years I have found that some of those people I keep close. I make the effort, they make the effort (not having to count the minutes on a long-distance phone call is a luxury my children will never understand), though it is impossible to keep up with everyone. There are many people I remember fondly, but it has been years since we’ve been in touch.

I use my friends.

There are some, when we talk, it is like we picked up just where we left off, or who can always put a smile on my face, or who make me want to be better. I can share my frustrations, and they will offer a big hug, or a glass of wine, and even through the ether, all will again be right in my world. They challenge me, help me figure things out, decide which way to go, remind me who I am and what I want to do. I know some pretty smart, funny people, who so often help me see a situation from a wholly different perspective, which in itself, is immensely helpful. Fowler and the girls are part of this, but not the whole. I like to think my friends use me in the same way.

On this trip, I spend most of my time with my family, and I love that. But there have also been times we are cut off from the world, either with bad cell reception, or limited wifi. So often, something happens, and I want to share it, or get a different opinion or view from a friend, but cannot. With all the ups and downs and stressors that accompany this adventure, I think this has been the hardest one for me. I often can’t just pick up the phone, shoot off a text message or make a call. I miss that very much. I know they will be there, when I need them, but it is very different. When we do have conversations, they are never long enough to include everything, and I can’t remember it all anyway. But I always feel better after a chat, even if I wasn’t feeling lousy before. I cannot explain this feeling, I am just better.

My family is the most important thing in my life. But I could not imagine my life without my friends. For each and every one of them, I am incredibly grateful. Perhaps I should make a New Year’s Resolution to stay in better touch. That should be an easy one to keep, because I need to. For me.